Bruno is off the market, guys.

The multi-toed, 25-pound cat with a kooky habit of standing on his hind legs, went viral last week thanks to Wright-Way Rescue, an Illinois animal shelter that wrote a funny plea for his adoption and posted it on Facebook.

According to the organization’s post, Bruno is quite the high-maintenance feline and needs the perfect human servant to abide to his very specific — and long — list of demands in order to live his very best kitty life.

These requests include that he be pet during mealtimes, not have his tummy touched, and that his water never be placed anywhere near his food. There is also only one type of toy Bruno finds acceptable to play with — a feather wand.

And because Bruno is A.) adorably weird, B.) has a cool party trick and C.) is majorly photogenic, tons of people applied to be his personal butler, er, owner.

So, the shelter had to be picky.

“Our thicc boi Bruno is now reviewing applications for the *PERFECT* home,” it wrote on Facebook.